So I sent an apology SMS to most of them yesterday. Not that I felt guilty, but cuz I don't want them to feel bad or what. Basically just tapping on the situation.

My bad habit of not explaining myself.

For some reasons, I grew up reading this karma book.. from a very random place that my mum used to bring me every once in a while. There's were comic books and magazines but every time I went, I only read this one book, over and over again. I don't remember much of the content though.

Anyway it's a taboo to instill harm to others.
And it's a sin to not make people better if I may possibly could.

Just my take.

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I actually think dinner was better than I thought yesterday. I don't know why I always end up being part of organizing.... but I'm glad I could help in any ways.

Good thing I didn't give up.. well at least not till the end.
I'm kinda happy I sat with M.K, HW and JT. Glad to have the 2 guys that I can say I am comfortable with. It took longer than expected to break the ice but it was okay because it just felt like any other social events. Had to bring out Disney a few times to have something to talk about and so wishes at the end felt extra emotional.

Topic at the end was so sensitive. Had to muster all my courage to ask it, exhausting every bit of my remaining energy. Nice answer, I'm glad I asked.

And extra long journey home. I thought I would end up thinking too much but I actually was too tired to, so it was just an at peace trip. It's always nice to have everything released, but without fail, it drains me. Music was blasting but I wasn't even hearing it.

Got home like almost 3 hours later. Had a drink cuz I thought it could help me rest better. Ended up waking up several times in the night and woke up before my alarm went off.

Even more stressed without proper rest. Hahahahah.

And I got niam -ed so badly last night. -_- but I appreciate the thousands of SMS and hundreds of missed calls.

I honestly don't blame anyone, not even myself..
Just wondering if I should revise our friendship.
After a long night, my answer is no! Of course I want the best for them though, so I should be forgiven if I do anything for the best interest of them.

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& I made a new discovery about myself! Avoiding eye contact and communication at all costs when I'm stressed. Sorry my family had been taking all my crap these days.